Vocab Today

Greg McFok Jr. is a surprisingly ant-social person, unlike his gregarious father: Greg McFok Sr.

Tate Stevens is the most incredible liar I’ve ever seen. Only his true friends can see how completely maudlin he is…to everyone else he’s a stud.

When Black Beard walked onto the deck that mourning in his flowery underpants the whole crew felt a sudden paroxysm of laughter. They would live to regret it soon after.

In the history of famous beer tappers there is none more legendary than the story of Tim Tapperson: The limbless bar tender who poured bottles of rum with his teeth, and vodka matinees with his ears.

The infamous “Dog Man” was a social pariah in his youth, until he stared in the film: “Space Balls”.

During the halcyon period before the war, the Smurfs enjoyed many years of peace and prosperity. But then disaster struck, the evil Belgians invaded Smurftom and sacked Smurfville, crippling the Smurf-berry trade.

An aberration occurred in Mr. Smith’s average day when drunken aliens abducted him and gave him an anal probe.

The bombastic leader of the revolution: Herman F. Chevalier threatened to drink the blood of the King and defile his image. The King’s henchmen in turn, found him and hung him on a tree.

The lumberjack was chary as he traced through the woods. After hearing what happened to his brother-in-law and the incident with the witch, he was in no hurry to linger in that part of the forest.

When it came to being a “Pirate Lawyer” a certain image is expected to be upheld--and yet Long John took no heed to this and continued to show up to board meetings looking completely desultory in his jacket and jeans. Mutiny was on everyone’s mind.

On interviews, Jigsaw claims that it was his fond love for toys that inspired to create his enigmatic traps..when asked how the whole torturing people fell in with that prospective, he just shrugged and said: “Well, what else could I do with a few reverse bear traps and an old television?” Touché.

The trainer’s “Calming Darts” only exacerbated the already raging Gorilla causing him to grab another by stander from the crowd of on lookers. The next mourning he received a full refund for the defective darts--although it did not cover the collateral damage.

Mr. Green’s racism was so utterly flagrant that he literately no friends outside his pet ostrich: Argus.

The clever Alchemist imbued the gun with a special scope that allowed for better accuracy. “And now” said Oswald, “It’s time to test it out”.

The old maid kept has such meticulous upkeep that Charlie arrived home to find that not only had his socks been folded, but that they had also been perfectly organized and labeled according to color, size, age, and material. And seeing as how Charlie had a collection of over 300 different pairs socks—this feat was a miracle in and of itself.

When Mr. Fickle found that the alleged set of armor he had purchased was in fact ingénue, he grabbed a croquet mallet and smashed every display case in his mansion.

After the stock market crash Skeletor and his minions gave up trying to conquer “Castle Grey Skull” and went into selling cheap real estate to newly weds. He-Man, having nothing better to do got a job as a greeter at men’s warehouse.

The Robot night watch lacked any short of brio in their job, in fact they made it a habit to stop and chat with burglars on their way back from ransacking a house.

Mr. and Mrs. Philistine; lacking any sort of nuance in the eyes of the committee, were banished from the “Smooth Gentleman’s Club for Intelligent People”.

Recently the town sheriff had been having sudden qualms and the citizens; growing with unease, decided to elect a young new sheriff named: Buck St. Clair. It was only after the bandit attacks that they learned that he had no idea how to use a gun.

The members of the cult: “We Misseth the Sixtieth Year” try to emulate everything from the 1960’s. To even mention the 70’s is a terrible risk within the group.

The fighting was growing increasingly in the group’s favor until the battle reached it’s climatic crescendo as a group of winged demons arose from the earth and started tearing the soldiers limb from limb.

Oddly enough, the town mayor decided to construct a Criminal Insane Asylum right across from the preschool in the district—He said it would create a “Satisfying antipodes in the area”. Hmm….

Kent Brahman wasn’t thrilled to only appearing as a cameo in the commercial, considering he had written, directed, and proposed the idea he felt himself worthy of the lead role. But his associates, remembering the last time they had let Brahman play the lead, decided to ignore his request.

The Greek Gods were a little apprehensive about allowing a new member to join their group. But after many long board meetings they finally agreed to make: Joe God of mundanity, and the 13^th Olympian.